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OK..I realize this journal can dive into some self-indulgent tirades and all, but if you are a regular reader and friend, you know this already. You probably enjoy those moments, and for that I thank you. I plan on writing here more often and on a more varied pool of topics and themes. Seeing as we have chosen the Roman Calender based on the poorly guessed date of a Christian prophet, I will play along and declare that I will be hugely more productive in 2010. Lot's of fodder to sift through.
That being said, if you are a hateful troll who enjoys leaving anonymous comments full of bile and crap on this blog, I will delete your shit. If you don't have the guts to own your asininity, then you don't deserve the respect of being seen. Period. I'm sorry you have had a sad little life that revolves around typing bullshit attacks behind the safety of a keyboard. Unknown douche from near Meridian MS, get a fucking life. All of the scared little haters, either grow a pair and bring it with a name, or be deleted.
Sorry for the tone, but if I am going to start writing here again, I need to re-establish the ground rules. I am not afraid of a good debate, or even a round of insult one-upmanship. Bring it on fuckers.
Oh, and Merry Chriskwannakuhmas.
bd
 Current Mood:  annoyed Current Music: 80's Hair Metal streaming |
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As much as I like an occasional glass 'o liquored up nog, the thought of finishing a quart of the stuff sent seismic tremors throughout my digestive system. Back in New Orleans, I would have made daiquiris out of the leftovers, but in the chilly tundra of a Chicago December, this seemed like a really dumb idea. I'm cold enough on the exterior. Rather than waste the remainder of the gooey fluid, I put it to use as a yummy morning treat. Nomnomnom...
Eggnog French Toast:
2 to 4 thick slices of bread
(Please don't use pre-sliced white bread! Get some good thick French or Challa or such)
1 cup prepared eggnog
(you could make it from scratch, but why the hell do that?)
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
dashes of cinnamon
Powdered sugar
Syrup or other favorite toppings
Cut thick slices of good bread and set aside. Beat the egg and add to eggnog, vanilla and cinnamon in a shallow dish or pie pan. Soak the bread slices in mixture for a couple minutes on each side. On a flat pan or skillet, melt some butter until slightly bubbling, then cook slices of soaked bread for a couple minutes on each side, until nicely browned. Plate with favorite toppings. The picture here has powdered sugar, maple syrup and a dash of Mulberry jam for a tart counterpoint.
This recipe contains 1 billion calories and a buttload of fat, but who the hell cares!
 Current Mood: stuffed Current Music: Boston - More than a Feeling |
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I'm probably not going to make a lot of friends with this admission, but I really f#cking can't stand Paula Deen. Hate her. Really. Everything from her uber-stereotypical "Yaawwwwllll" to the fact that she fries fat chunks in butter as if it were some simplistic Southern food ritual to boil shit in lard. Ummm...no. Yes, butter is wonderful, if used correctly. I am also a big fan of animal fats in their many forms, from rendered duck fat to bacon grease. But this over-make-up'd faux granny "chef" makes me want to never eat south of St Louis again. That is, if I didn't know better. According to reports, the current strain of H1N1 (aka "Swine Flu" for those of you living in media denial) came from a poorly monitored Smithfield pig farm in Mexico. Who is the celebrity face of Smithfield? Hmm? Yep...Paula "More annoying than two cats in heat mating on a chalkboard surface" Deen. Coincidence? I think not. She is the Anti-Christ of Food. Or is that Rachel Ray? Nope. It's Paula...Rachel is a lesser demon.
I wish Facebook would quit trying to make me become friends with Paul Giamatti. Seriously. I don't know the dude. I thought he was OK in "John Adams" and passable in other films, but it isn't like we'll be chatting online about our upcoming schedules and trading recipes. And I won't poke any of my family member, so cut it out. Seriously. You're creeping me out something fierce. It's bad enough you keep trying to set me up with single women over 40 in my area. Just because I am over 40 means I have to DATE over 40? And I won't become a fan of Walgreens, VISA, or any other corporate sponsors until they become a fan of ME. And give me free shit.
Here's one for the "this is what irony means" file. The HCR debate is making me sick.
Another entry...The lady at the bank line who bitched to us about the people ahead of her taking up too much time with the tellers, only to get to the teller and begin a tirade about people taking too long. A long-winded tirade, involving other tellers.
I hope you all have a Happy Whateveryoucelebrate.
bd |
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Dear ELECTED officials...
I would like to thank you. Thank you for looking out for the welfare of the planet and the citizens that inhabit it. For years, I had just assumed that your policies were merely based on greed and power. It seemed to me that, by being complete lackeys of the lobbyists and big business, that you were merely operating from a detached and self serving position. By stalling the health care reform bill, thereby allowing more than 1,500 people a day die due to lack of coverage, and not to mention the deaths caused by financial ruin, I assumed you had no humanity left. By fighting any and all environmental policies, and allowing the planet to change in ways that allowed drought, super-storms and other deadly conditions to prevail, it seemed to me that you did not care even for future generations. Blocking stem cell research, denying AIDS funding, and lack of regulation of medicines, food and water all drew a picture to me of soulless sociopaths with no connection left to the human condition. Let's not forget sending thousands of young men and women into illegal wars (of course, not your sons and daughters!) I could never fathom the depths of evil you had sold your souls into.
Then it dawned on me. One day, driving through the Mid West, I saw a deer run across the road. I thought of the venison sitting in the freezer at my mothers country home. It made me think of all the arguments I had engaged in with vegetarian friends about hunting. "Don't you see?" I would argue, "If we don't hunt them then they will over-populate. In the long term, they would die of disease and starvation and over-population"
Over-population.
It was then that I had my epiphany! You didn't hate humanity! You are trying to save it. By culling the human population, there is the possibility that the remaining living could have rich and fruitful lives. You protect us from ourselves. By allowing the less fortunate to die, you are actually saving humanity for your family and friends. Good thing you have health care and safe lodging! If it weren't for you, the whole human race could destroy itself. Thank you. Thank you for not sending YOUR sons and daughters into war. Thank you for isolating them and yourselves from the day to day struggle of the human condition. If you had not, then who would look out for the welfare of man kind?
Sincerely
A Voter.Current Mood:  amused Current Music: radioio Classic Country |
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I've never been outright mean to the homeless and panhandlers. Maybe my fear of a great karmic backlash combined with a very personal and up-close knowledge of poverty kept my less kind devils in check. Usually, I'd say about 70% of the time, I avoid eye contact and mutter a sort of half guilty apology. Usually an unintelligible mutter so that I could feign a lack of knowledge of the English language should the individual in question be of the overly persistent kind. "No hablar" or "Je ne parle pas" as a follow up would normally dissuade them, though one time I was caught in the lie when the beggar answered in Spanish. He then shifted into the 30th percentile. The 30th percentile, obviously, are the times when I do give money. Maybe I'm in a particularly good mood, or the panhandler in question is particularly creative in signage or technique. I watched one guy in the French Quarter, as I was enjoying a frosty beverage near the street, come up with so many different and creative approach lines that I actually went to him with money and a compliment. Nice form dude!
I've seen people recoil in disgust...cross the street to avoid eye contact..spit. As if these people are less than human. As if it weren't possible that, through a series of unfortunate incidents, that they too could find themselves in a similar situation. Probably the reaction that makes me most angry is when they pass by and say "Get a job!". Get a job. Sure. I'm pretty sure I know how I would react if hurled such a heartless insult...
"Get a JOB? Wow! You're soooo right! Why didn't I think of that? All these days digging through trash cans for food, sleeping in alleys..And all I had to do was GET A JOB?! Damn. Wish I had thought of that. I'm going to go home right n...oh wait. I don't have a home. No problem. I'll just steal some soap from a store and bathe in a fountain or something. Then I'll put on my best suit. Damn. Forgot again...no suit. No worries..I'll just MAKE ONE!! That's right! Maybe out of old rags and bags and newspapers...I'll use the funny papers to make a colorful and wacky tie! Then I'll march right into the first Fortune 500 company I can find and demand a job. Yep. It's all good now! No more homelessness or poverty for ME! Thanks big guy! Hey! I bet you have a job! Could you hook me up? No??"
Then I'd stab him in the neck. Which, by the way, would take care of that homelessness thing. Not to mention the food, health care benefits and companionship.
For those of you on Facebook, if you're looking for a last minute gift or stocking stuffer, please consider clicking below:
Support a Comedian, get a CD!!
Happy Holidays mes amis!!
bdCurrent Mood: chipper Current Music: Slayer - Dead Skin Mask |
| » Red Shirt Fridays |
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I got an e-mail from my Aunt Mary, whose son Corey just recently joined the Marines. I felt that this would be a more effective way of sharing this than forwarding it through e-mail. Here is the text:
I found a website for this as well:
http://www.redshirtfridays.org/
Red Shirt
If the red shirt thing is new to you, read below how it went for a man.
Last week, while traveling to Chicago on business, I noticed a Marine
sergeant traveling with a folded flag, but did not put two and two
together..
After we boarded our flight, I turned to the sergeant, who'd been
invited
to sit in First Class (across from me), and inquired if he was heading
home.
No, he responded.
Heading out I asked?
No. I'm escorting a soldier home.
Going to pick him up?
No. He is with me right now. He was killed in Iraq, I'm taking him home
to his family.
The realization of what he had been asked to do hit me like a punch to
the
gut. It was an honor for him. He told me that, although he didn't know
the soldier, he had delivered the news of his passing to the soldier's
family and felt as if he knew them after many conversations in so few
days.
I turned back to him, extended my hand, and said, Thank you. Thank you
for doing what you do so my family and I can do what we do...
Upon landing in Chicago the pilot stopped short of the gate and made the
following announcement over the intercom.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to note that we have had the honor
of
having Sergeant Steeley of the United States Marine Corps join us on
this
flight. He is escorting a fallen comrade back home to his family. I
ask
that you please remain in your seats when we open the forward door to
allow Sergeant Steeley to deplane and receive his fellow soldier. We
will
then turn off the seat belt sign."
Without a sound, all went as requested.. I noticed the sergeant saluting
the casket as it was brought off the plane, and his action made me
realize
that I am proud to be an American.
So here's a public Thank You to our military Men and Women for what you
do
so we can live the way we do.
Red Fridays.
Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday.
The
reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the "silent
majority." We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God,
country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized,
boisterous or overbearing.
Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to
recognize
that the vast majority of Americans support our troops. Our idea of
showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect
starts this Friday -- and continues each and every Friday until the
troops
all come home, sending a deafening message that ... Every red-blooded
American who supports our men and women a far, will wear something red.
By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every
Friday a sea of red - much like a homecoming foot ball game in the
bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this
with
acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family, it will not be long
before
the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once
"silent" majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than
the
media lets on.
The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things
better for you?" is "We need your support and your prayers." Let's get
the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example, and wear
something red every Friday
I found a website for this as well:
Thanks and peace out
bd
Oct. 19th, 2009 @ 10:22 am
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| » Of Balloons, Banks and booze.... |
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Really? The balloon boy was a hoax? No shit. OK..let's imagine.
You've lost, say, your keys. Car keys. You look EVERYWHERE. The freezer. Twice, because you actually left them there once (true story, but that is for later..).
You tear up the house for what seems like an unreasonable amount of time. Plead with whatever deity/spouse/pet around.
"Where are the damn keys!!!"
Then when you can't find them, maybe you call around. "Did I leave them at _____? No? O.K. Thanks."
Then there they are. Behind the bed stand, where you looked 3 times, but didn't really pull it out from the wall.
What is my freakin' point? Those are keys. They lost a child.
A 6 year old child is bigger than a damn set of keys. A hell of a lot larger. And noisier too.
He was in the damn attic, hiding. If I hid from my parents due to a ridiculous stunt like this, it had better be in a non-English speaking country. One that doesn't honor extradition.
And an attic is only so big. So let's review. They lost the kid. Called in NORAD. "He's in the balloon!"
I doubt they even checked the freezer.
I went to the bank yesterday, to pull from it's steely grip a little of MY money. My bank is a big bank. Their name is something that cops do to criminals when they run.
Dogs do it to mailmen.
You get the picture.
Any way, they had a sign..a promotional ad. It was a smiling woman drinking coffee. On the ad it said, in her voice, obviously, "I opened a new account and they gave me FREE COFFEE!"
Cool. I'm sure with their billions in profits, that cup of watered down swill set them back about...ummm....4 cents. Goodie.
How about giving out loans? How about giving back some of the money you took from the tax payers? No.
Wait until she gets the fees, and penalties. Maybe a deposit clears AFTER a check and they rape her for $40.00.
Next thing you know, they'll have a picture of her...sitting on a curb dressed in rags.
"They gave me soup when I put all my money in their black hole account!"
Time for another beverage. Peace.
bd
Oct. 17th, 2009 @ 06:34 pm
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| » Hello friends..and Claire... |
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I'm baaaaaaack!
bd
Sep. 10th, 2009 @ 07:51 pm
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| » Aww shoot. |
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I found nearly a dozen spent 9mm shells in the street in front of my house this morning. I guess the loud popping noises that woke us up at 3am weren't really loud fireworks.
Not digging it. Not at all...
Claire...did you finally decide to act out your rage?
heh.
bd
Mar. 5th, 2009 @ 07:36 am
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| » Oh yeah...go figure.... |
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You are a Social Justice Crusader, also known as a rights activist. You believe in equality, fairness, and preventing neo-Confederate conservative troglodytes from rolling back fifty years of civil rights gains.
Feb. 22nd, 2009 @ 03:38 pm
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Become a fan on Facebook! http://ping.fm/wrrGh
Jan. 22nd, 2009 @ 01:55 pm
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Caffeine is a magical elixir. All hail the energy juice!!
Jan. 22nd, 2009 @ 12:44 pm
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Going to try some new funny at Carrollton Station tonight...9:30ish.
Jan. 21st, 2009 @ 08:33 pm
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Come celebrate with me at Vic's Kangaroo tonight! Let's mix red and blue and make drunk purple!
Jan. 20th, 2009 @ 03:17 pm
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Try again. www.whitehouse.gov
Jan. 20th, 2009 @ 02:52 pm
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Change HAS come..fast. http://ping.fm/8vE8H
Jan. 20th, 2009 @ 02:51 pm
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Throw me some Hope, mister!!
HOPE>FEAR
Jan. 20th, 2009 @ 02:43 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Hope>Fear. (Thanks Ian)
Jan. 20th, 2009 @ 02:24 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Testing. Ping!
Jan. 20th, 2009 @ 02:15 pm
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billzbub's journal